Following on from last month welcome to Part 2 of our mini series “How to be a successful communicator”.
“The complexities of motivation and behaviour in the sender meet the equal complexities of perception and motivation in the receiver” (John E. Schneider – Ohio State University)
Whatever the statistics, if you are more confident and positive you are likely to get a much more successful outcome, whether it be when you meet someone new, you are giving a presentation or having an interview. When two people connect, change happens.
Consider how you communicate – look at the questions and decide which is most like you, then have a look at our tips
1. Do you
a. allow time for the other person to articulate their attitudes and feelings?
b. jump in with your response or opinion before they are finished?
Tip 1 – To help you from stampeding in what you have to say, repeat in your head to yourself what they have said before you say your piece. This reinforces the relevance of what you have to say to what they have said which shows you are listening, and prevents you from cutting them off.
2. Are you
a. focusing on solutions or
b. looking to judge and criticise?
Tip 2 – If you have a tendency to nitpick or constantly contradict what someone says, try putting yourself in their position so you see things from their perspective. Do you really understand what the other person was trying to say?
Now a couple of extra tips
1. Try this next time you talk to someone:
Listen to what they say and before you reply, say”…I understand what you were saying is…….(and repeat back to them what they said) before you offer your reply.
2. Before you meet someone new at an event be it work or social, have in mind four bits of information you want to come away with about that person. When you finish your interaction, mentally remind yourself what those bits of information were and whether you got the answers.
3. Count to 5 after the other person finishes speaking before you say your piece (see if anyone else jumps in!)
4. Take away 3 visual pictures of the person when you leave, e.g. how they were standing, what they wore, whether they blinked a lot, what was the tone of voice etc.
And here’s a good game to play quietly on your own
When you next find yourself sitting on the underground, waiting for a plane, sitting in a café or killing time watching a group of people, look at your fellow passengers/diners/passers by and think of the most unlikely occupation they could have that would be so unexpected in view of what they look like and what they are wearing. So a pin-stripe suited city gent type could be the lead singer of a punk rock band. Stereotyping can frequently determine how we relate to people, so buck the trend, let your imagination go and you’ll find yourself smiling!
GWE Business West
I am delighted to be working as a mentor again on the new Adapt to Survive program, having worked with GWE Business West on previous mentoring projects.
GWE Business West has secured funding for a new business support programme to be delivered in the South West. Adapt to Survive is aimed at small to medium sized businesses that fit certain criteria and includes workshops and mentoring. The workshops are free and designed to be interactive and each attendee takes away a ‘Work Smarter Action Plan’ which is built around their specific needs. Mentors provide after workshop support in completing the plans and there is also voucher funding available to put towards specialist advice incurred in the carrying out of the plan.
Marlborough Counselling Service
There are many types of counselling from Gestalt through to Interactive and everything in-between! The Marlborough School of Counselling is a group of dedicated counsellors from various disciplines who offer services including psychotherapy, traditional counselling, addiction therapy, CBT, supervision, coaching and more. Using a variety of techniques from play therapy to visualisation and hypnotherapy, the practitioners can help alleviate many issues including stress and depression, bereavement and phobias.
The Marlborough Counselling Service is available on 01672 513583 and your call will be treated with care and discretion.
Where is the summer? We’ve been waiting for it for a while! We needed a bit of TLC after all this bad weather. And we had a bit of it at Marlborough Town Hall when the Wellbeing Clinic therapists gave some seriously good vibes via massage and other treatments at the NCT Pamper Evening. The therapists were fully booked, and no wonder! A great way to feel summer’s touch.
We hope you enjoy this months’s newsletter, please do send us your feedback.